Is This Generosity or Manipulation? A Key Abundance Misconception

We all know that it’s great to give to others. That when we give to others we give to ourselves. That when we give we also receive.

Why is it then that some very generous and very heart-felt people give and give and give and feel they get nothing back in return?

There are many light workers or spiritually focused people who are committed to making the world a better place and they often give generously of their time, their advice and their hearts, and at the same time their bank balances run dry, their own health suffers, and their own worlds falling apart in the process.

The common advice is that you need to give to yourself first, start loving yourself more and be good at “receiving”.  The interesting thing is often when people heed this advice, they go in the opposite direction. They become self-centred and selfish. They do give to themselves first and in the process stop giving to others.

Somewhere along the line people realise that the key is to do both.  Some then take the view of “I’ll give to others on the condition that I receive something in return.”

“I’ll shower you with love/gifts/generosity but I am doing it because I want you to recognise me or give me validation or give me something else in return.”

We’ve all done it at some point. This kind of giving doesn’t come from the heart. Nor does it create abundance. Instead, it sets us up for failure.

To be blunt, it’s manipulation. And when we consider that “like attracts like” what we attract is people who want to manipulate us.

Here’s another self-defeating outcome that this kind of giving attracts…

When we give expecting to receive a certain reward in return we often do receive a reward but it doesn’t come in teh precise form that we expect to receive it in so we don’t recognise it as a “gift”.

So what’s the answer?

Give to others ahead of yourself?

Give to yourself first then give to others?

Give to others anticipating that you’ll receive something back?

The answer is none of the above and all of the above.

When we truly give just for the sake of it, because we love helping others, the act of giving makes us feel good, (regardless of whether or not the recipient appreciates the gift) and that is our reward. It fills us with gratitude and we grow as people.

The key is also in developing the ability to receive. When we do that, we give to others just for the joy of giving, knowing that we’ll be looked after. The hidden agendas goes out the window and as soon as that hidden agenda leaves, the abundance flows naturally.

 

 

About Kristina Mills:
Kristina Mills is a highly regarded direct response copywriter, marketing strategist, entrepreneur and success strategist having worked with and produced great results for some of Australia's most inspirational entrepreneurs, speakers, event companies, professional services firms, property companies, and internet entrepreneurs. She is the author of Invisible Genius Vol1 and 2, Freelance Copywriting Fast Track Course, Direct Mail Mastery, Web Copy Mastery, Invisible Genius Vol.1 and 2, Mortgage Broker Letters that Sell, Real Estate Letters that Sell, How to Create a Sales Explosion With Every Ad and Letter Your Write. To find out more about how Kristina can help you live your potential, arrange a free 15 minute phone chat.

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