When we are in service to others we are in service to ourselves. Everything serves us, whether we think it does at the time or not.
Whether it’s by providing us with a learning that we need to get from the exercise.
Whether it’s feeling great about helping someone else.
Or whether it’s the ripple effect that occurs as a result of that – something that ends up benefiting us in magical, unexpected ways.
Sometimes though, we don’t see it that way.
And sometimes, our egos get involved and we give with strings attached.
There are so many heartfelt, compassionate people I know who give and give and give to others and they seemingly don’t get anything back in return. Why? Because they’re not open to receiving. Either that, or actually seeing the gifts that they are receiving in return.
And sometimes the giving they do comes with strings attached. In return they hope they’ll get the affection they crave, the recognition they crave, the self-worth that they crave.
Some people give to others at the expense of themselves because they feel that others need their protection.
Some because they want to do the “right” thing.
Others because they want people to like them.
Others because they want to feel important.
Others because they want to feel secure. Or something else.
And when they don’t get the expected reaction or feeling that they want to receive, they feel resentful.
Resentment and Giving
One of the greatest challenges that people have in relationships is resentment in the area of giving.
Sometimes the giving that we give is what we feel like giving but not what the other person wants. It makes us feel good that we’re giving something, but is that gift what the other person wants?
You’ve probably heard of the book, “The Five Love Languages”. It’s like that, but on a broader scale. In a relationship, people like to receive love in certain ways – through gifts, spending quality time with someone, physical affection, words of appreciation or acts of service.
If a person giving doesn’t give that gift in the form that the recipient wants to receive it in, the recipient don’t necessarily appreciate the gift.
And the giver feels resentful because they’re doing a lot of giving but not getting any appreciation.
Kristina Mills is a highly regarded direct response copywriter, marketing strategist, entrepreneur and success strategist having worked with and produced great results for some of Australia's most inspirational entrepreneurs, speakers, event companies, professional services firms, property companies, and internet entrepreneurs. She is the author of Invisible Genius Vol1 and 2, Freelance Copywriting Fast Track Course, Direct Mail Mastery, Web Copy Mastery, Invisible Genius Vol.1 and 2, Mortgage Broker Letters that Sell, Real Estate Letters that Sell, How to Create a Sales Explosion With Every Ad and Letter Your Write. To find out more about how Kristina can help you live your potential, arrange a free 15 minute phone chat.